My Spiritual Quest

It was around September 2004 I completed the Vipassana 10 day meditation retreat on the Sunshine Coast taught by S.N. Goenka. This was only a few months after my accident and people said they could really see an improvement in me when I came back, saying that “the old Mark is back”. I don’t remember thinking or acting any differently but others could see it.

I heard about a completely silent meditation retreat from Margaret at the Vision Quest course I did in 1999 and it stuck with me all this time. I wasn’t working, well couldn’t work at the time so I looked it up on the Internet and found one on the Sunshine Coast, there are retreats all over the world taught by S.N. Goenka.

It is a Buddhist run retreat but I didn’t go because of that, the main reason I wanted to go was the fact that there is no talking for the whole 10 days and I really needed the piece and quiet after my accident and at the time living in West End next door to a block of apartments being constructed. I really soaked up the quiet and it allowed me reflect on my life. It was the hardest endurance test I?ve ever put myself through with up to 11 hours of meditation a day only sitting on a cusion. I contemplate going back every now and then but thinking of that back pain puts me off. During that 10 days I really missed my partner and swore to myself that things would be different and I would grow closer but that never happened and about a year later we had broken up, we just weren?t meant to be together, but that’s another story. It was on day 4 that I was screaming internally to myself to just get out of there, this is too hard. That lasted a day but then I had a word to myself and say “if your going to go then go otherwise shut up an get on with it”. I was much better after that. There are a lot of kangaroos that just walk around the grounds all day. The food was fantastic, completely vegiterian of course.

On the last day we finished the meditation in the morning and could then speak to each other for the rest of the day. With my fairly shy personality I didn’t really want to get involved with talking with anyone and I felt it, for me anyway should have been completely silent until it’s time to leave.

There where around 20 male and 20 females. We didn’t eat or sleep in the same quarters but you could see them walking to the food hall each time. I shared with one other guy who I never actually met before the code of silence was in place so I lived with him for 10 days but only met him on the last day when we could all speak. He said “hey finally nice to meet you”. He had a girlfriend he just broke up with and a business he took some time off to do the retreat. On the last day he turned on his mobile and had to meet someone down the road and unfortunately he was asked to leave as was one of the conditions was to not leave the grounds at all during the 10 days.

Mum and Dad came and picked me up as they only lived at Gympie then. I said to them I went there for the complete silence, it was physically demanding but I think I may have found a good Spiritual path. I will do some more research and learn more about the Buddhist ways. I don’t think it’s a complete way of life for me but something to complement other things that I will be involved with.

Click here to go to the Dhamma Rasmi, Vipassana Centre website for the north coast.